Where's the You I've Come to Know?

You used to be fine. You were happy then. Even if things did not work out all for you, you were fine. What happened, Baby? ...I miss your smile. I miss you smile.

Where is the you I have come to know? Where is the you that your friends turn to whenever they feel down? Where is the you who appreciated life even if you only had the simplest things? When are you coming back? Will you be back? Can you still come back?

People miss you, you know? I also miss you... more than anybody else could ever know.

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You Ask Me Why? I Tell You Why

"People wonder why I always write about pain. I am never too happy, never peaceful. It is like I do well in getting hurt. I am such a pushover for love.

But wouldn't you? Write about pain, I mean. When you have reached the threshold, the very edge of pain and know that it is only going to get worse, wouldn't you write about the very thing that is ripping you apart? When there is nothing left of you, wouldn't you write about the person who has made you love like that?

Ah, but what do I know. I just throw away these words because I can not bear to keep them. No, I can not bear to keep them."

- Heartbreak

Fallen - Sarah Mclachlan

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

BAD-WORSE-WORST

This is bad. I am running out of money.

What is worse is I am running out of reasons.

And the worst part is I am running out of hope.

Can someone remind me how bad it is to give up on life?

Suddenly, I Feel Empty

My problem is that I am not focused! One little thing happens and I am off in never never land.

Suddenly, I feel empty. I feel tired. I feel aimless. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, in moments of painful honesty, I would lie awake and think that I am a failure in all that is important.

This whole thing. . . This whole thing is hard to endure. When things just keep on flashing back, I am too weak not to shed a tear and not to feel a pinch in my heart.

But I have been down this road too many times already. I have to look ahead, not back. I should know by now.

Beautiful Lies

I can feel your lies creeping under my skin. They're eating me from the inside out. I've spent sleepless nights trying to illuminate my mind -- to believe that my suspicions are a make believe of a crazy woman in love. My body is getting weak and my heart, weaker. Knowing that I live in a world where lies are dime a dozen, makes me shiver from fear. Your lies are so beautiful. But believe me, I'm not a fool.

Reblogged from HERE

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Peaceful Soul

"I've paid a considerable price for the little I have gained. I've been forced to deny myself many things I've wanted, to abandon so many roads that were open to me. I've sacrificed my dreams in the name of a larger dream - a peaceful soul. I didn't want to give up that peace."

- Paulo Coelho / By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept p.41

Hi. I am Sad

I am not pretty sure why lately I am feeling kind of blue. I dunno. Maybe because I am getting too tired at work, watching movies, surfing the net? Or maybe because I do not get too much sleep, I miss out going to our Church gatherings? Or maybe I am so so so broke and cannot even get to eat out (even for a simple McDonald's cheeseburger)? Or maybe because until now, I still get to share my life with no one really special? Or is it because I am missing somebody? Or I dunno, perhaps feeling less functional? Or feeling unimportant? Or maybe because I do not have my family with me? Or maybe because I dwell too much in my comfort zone, I do not grow anymore? Or maybe... just maybe because I do not appreciate what I have right now. Or not?

I am sad. I just feel sad.

I don't know. :(