To the Years of Constant Blessings

 

To the years of constant blessings,

Thanking God for another
 year in my life

Today is extra special since today is her birthday. It’s another day to unfold the past years where she was able to emerge from life’s greatest call of challenges. Her life for thirty-nine years was never a smooth-sailing ride but throughout her journey, she saw both her strengths and weaknesses. She witnessed the things she’s able to surpass and unleash new-found courage in her. She knew she’s not like anyone else for she’s able to still find lessons behind bad days.

She considers herself lucky enough to be surrounded by genuine people who never left her when the sun shows up. Her husband is her good sight example of a hardworking parent. She admires how his husband is willing to do anything just to support the family. He works diligently and decently as a researcher, book writer, online buy and sell, business consultant and anything else he could think of that requires his wit and talent. She also wakes up every morning knowing how blessed she is for having their two sons —their motivation and one of the reasons why they wanted to be better people. Her sons who calls her “Nanay” are all well-loved and everything they need is always met and provided. She always looks forward to giving their sons the comfort of home and that they are free to grow and discover themselves.

She too is a hardworking woman who wanted to take every opportunity that is served on her table. She does their daily online schooling, serves them the best food, she does house cleaning, laundry, and anything to make their home a better place. Most of the time, everything leads to exhaustion but she knows it’s all worth it. She is still eager to do the same routine every day if that would mean, giving her family the light feeling of safety and love. She made sure that her kids are raised with good manners and impart them Christian values. Somehow she knew that being a mother is her calling for she’s raising kids for the Kingdom of Heaven. She makes sure that her kids know what’s right and what’s wrong, that they can sympathize, feel things freely, explore their growth, treat people with kindness and humility using the guidance and fear of God.

Thankful to God

For her, they are her definition of receiving the best gift of life —her all-out fun, and loving family. Just by looking at them, she knew it’s all worth the fight and exhaustion. She knew that her heart is so full of love that she’ll never run out of it when it comes to her family. They are her definition of immeasurable happiness that no amount of luxury in this world could ever trade for. Her birthday wish will always fall towards her family’s sake. That they will continue to grow in harmony and have God in the center of everything that they do. She knew that there are more challenges in the future but she knew they could make it together as long as they’ll remain as a team. Every day she received her gift through her family and she’s always thankful for that.

There’s no such thing as perfect life for the perfect life is boring. What she had is a life filled with newly discovered riches through experiences, memories of watching how they grow at the same pace, and hearing the noise inside a home that represents unconditional love. More so, she’s thankful for another year because it all means she’s here for a reason and a purpose. 

A cup of words and coffee - repost

 I came into this verge where I stopped believing i was beautiful. Where I could no longer stare too long on my reflections, where I began evading mirrors. I guess, my body started to lose all its remaining radiance. Today, I know I am more than just ugly. I am more than just a mess to me. I am now a stranger to my own self. I realize I don't wear the same smile I used to wear few years back then. All I have are quick glances and required laughter that simmer too fastly. All I have are scars I hide behind my sleeves, and marks I darted on my own flesh. All I have are broke down memories of unfamiliar happiness, where my mind becomes a five-story building of people climbing up on stairs only to jump on its fifth floor and have me witness it so I could carry the guilt. My heart becomes a massive ocean of loneliness where my childhood memories plunge to revisit its shipwrecks only to turn my present self into one of them. My passion, they all begin to fade like polaroid pictures exposed on a crowd of sharp stares. Suddenly, I forgot how good I was on writing. Suddenly, I forgot to blend my whites on darks to lighten some of my weighty thoughts. Suddenly, I became a trash bin of unfinished drafts and sucked up poems. I no longer have the drive to connect on everything I used to be so passionate before. I was fed up, drained.

Today, as I wipe my mirror from the haze of my shower. I stared less than a minute and watch the person standing in front of me. I am no longer pretty. I am no longer holding the stars on my eyes.  I am no longer the person I wished I was, the person I wished to become. I realize I am just another stranger firing questions and blames to the reflection that holds up the same name as mine. I realize I was tired. I was tired that no matter how long I try to rest, I will still wake up tired.

I don't understand how things go. I don't know how I got here.

All I know is, I am no longer beautiful the way I used to be. All I know is, I am no longer happy.

- Mica Meñez, ugly and sadness
Repost from Facebook

Repost: to my future daughter in law

Oh my! Tears in my eyes while reading and after reading this:

http://www.foreverymom.com/a-letter-to-my-future-daughters-in-law-he-wont-complete-you/

To my future daughters-in-law,

I have a few things I want to say to you. This can’t possibly cover it all, but luckily, we have some time.

I don’t know you yet, but already, I love you. I love you so much, because some day, you will love my son. And he will return that love.

There will come a day that this sticky, messy, silly little boy will be yours. He will always be mine, but you will take my place in many ways.

Someday your hand will replace mine. Your eyes will be his peace and your heart will be his home.

It’ll be you he kisses goodnight.

It’ll be you he shares his dreams with.

It’ll be you who comforts him when he is scared.

It’ll be you who holds his heart. The same heart that beats against my chest as I hold him each night.

Someday, darling, that will be you.

I always thought I would have a daughter. Now I know that’s you. I want you to know I pray for you every day, just as I pray for my sons.

Right now, you’re everything to your own parents, just as my sons are everything to me. I pray you are cherished. Delighted in. Upheld and believed in. I pray you are being taught to love yourself first, because without that strong love, you will not be as equipped to love others successfully. I pray you are shown every day what a gift you are. I pray that if that message is somehow missed by those around you, you always know that when God looks at you, He sees His princess.

I am raising my son to view you that same way.

I pray you understand your worth and that you respect yourself. That you are being shown to respect others just the same. I pray that you are not afraid to share your voice, but that you use it to speak life; not only to yourself and others you encounter, but to my son. Men need you to speak life into them.

I want you to know that although I will make a lot of mistakes, I am committed to raising my son to honor you. I cannot take full credit, nor blame, for his beauty or his flaws. My own mom taught me that.

He is his own man. He has his own quirks and idiosyncracies. You’ll figure those out as you go; and someday, you too will know him better than anyone else in the world. Give him the space to be himself, and I will teach him to do the same for you.

He won’t complete you. And you won’t complete him. Only God can do that. But I pray you edify each other and encourage each other to be even better together than you are on your own.

I promise to let you in. To share my secrets and knowledge of him so that you can love him best. When the time comes, I will trust you with his heart, just as you will trust him with yours. I do not take this heart exchange lightly, and I pray you don’t either. I am raising him to understand the value of a woman’s heart. That it’s priceless, and once broken, can never go back to the way it was before.

That’s not always a bad thing, but if we can avoid it, I don’t want my son to be the one who breaks your heart. I also want you to remember that he can’t be the one to heal it. Again, only God can do that. But I will raise my son to forever cherish the gift that is you and your love. I will teach him to understand your value. To honor and respect you, as you do him.

I strive to raise my boys in such a way that they learn how to be strong, yet vulnerable. Brave, yet humble. Courageous and fearless, yet unafraid to ask for help. That they are leaders but know how to follow. I pray he leads you well and understands the honor it is to be in that role. I pray he serves you, but that you never take advantage of his sacrifice.

I pray he fully understands his role as a man and that he lives his life with integrity, honor, humility, honesty, faith and humor. That he knows who he is first in Christ and then within himself. I pray he follows his dreams and passions and that nothing stands in the way of that, to include you. I pray the same for you.

I am committed to raising my son to be independent and never to look to you to be his mother, because I will have stood in that role well. I vow to be fully present for him. To teach him what he needs to know about women and how special they are. I promise to raise him in such a way that he always remembers you are someone’s daughter and that you belonged to him after you belonged to God and your parents.

I pray that with each day you love my son, your love swells and overflows. I pray the same for him. I hope as the two of you build a life together, that you never forget how that life was built. Stand strong together. You will need each other in this life. Though I am teaching him towant you rather than to need you, there will be times that he will need you. And you will need him. Be there.

Support each other. Love each other. Choose each other.

The noise of the world will be loud. It won’t always be easy. There may be days that you look at him and question every decision you ever made. In those moments, I pray you will fall back on the foundation you built together and remember why you chose to stand there.

I promise you that each day, I will teach my son these same lessons. I will plant seeds of love in his heart every moment. I promise to show him how to take care of himself. How to do the laundry and the dishes, and to never expect you to do it all. How to be your partner. I promise to foster his sensitivity while praising his strength. To teach him how to be open and to hold your words when they spill from your lips and into his hands. I promise to teach him how to catch them. To hold you. To love you. All of you. To see you for you, not what you can offer him.

I promise to raise him to be enough within himself so that he can then be enough for you.

We’ve got a lot of years before we meet. But each day between now and then, I will pray for you. I will love you. And when I meet you, I will love you even more than I already do. Because you will love my son. And you’ll become my daughter.

For Happy

24 hours

It's been a while again and again.
i miss blogging so much, i often think of it on my way to work and home. You know, posting things to remember and just venting out things that are bugging me.
But i don't have a lot of luxuries now when it comes to time management. Most of the time, i come to think that 24 hours would never be enough for me as i live my life now.

There are lots of things going on with my busy busy busy life and i wish i have more time to do more.

But heck! each of us has 24 hours to live every day, just have to make the most out of my 24 hours.

I always pray to God to give me more tomorrows. I have a lot of things that i want to do.

IMMA CONFESSED HUMAN NATURE ADDICT

WILL ORDER 3 OF THIS WHEN I GO BACK TO WORK.

AND MORE OTHER PRODUCTS, TOO!

OH MY.. I'M AN ADDICT!

IKAW by Yeng Constantino

Ikaw
Ang pag-ibig na hinintay
Puso ay nalumbay ng kay tagal
Ngunit ngayo'y nandito na..

Ikaw, ikaw
Ang pag-ibig na binigay
Sa akin ng Maykapal
Biyaya ka sa buhay ko
Ligaya't pag-ibig ko'y ikaw..

Read more: Yeng Constantino - Ikaw Lyrics | MetroLyrics

October 20 Baby

Here is our second baby boy, Zeo. Normal delivery by a private OB in a humble maternity clinic near our home. He was a big little Zeo at 3.5 kilos when he got out of me, cord coiled and turned bluish black because of the strangling. But thank God for each perfect moment of my last hardest push, the perfect moment when they catched the baby, the perfect moment when the doctor cut the cord around the baby's neck, and all other perfect moments I can't remember anymore.

Now, on his 2nd week here on the outside world (outside the womb, that is), he drinks lotsa lotsa milk from the cow (formula), and some power breastmilk from human (me).

I am happier compared to my 1st born. I had post partum depression last time I gave birth but this time, I seem to be more prepared and readier to face the mother duties and challenges.

Basta, all great thanks to God.

Meet Zeo Xeven MT, the new gangster in town :)

I love you, Kid! - Nanay

today is atrenta

sweldo ng asawa kong napakasupportive. napaka mapagmahal. maunawain
makapal ang wallet. haha

pinagspa nya ako. facial. pedicure. yummmm. o well. today is my lucky and beauty day.

posted from Bloggeroid

Welcome, 2013!

2012 was big! The ups and the downs and all the middles in between, I think I had them all :)

I was happy and sad, high and low... but to sum it all, I was blessed. nothing else :)

This year, I am expecting new things to happen and be experienced. I always pray God will lead the way :)

HAPPY 2013, EVERYONE! :)

Ae and I

I miss her very very very much :( 

We've been friends since 1998 and she never stopped on being a good one to me. She'd seen my worst but still loves me for who I am. She loves me more on my best and I love her too for that :) It's been some years now since we've been quite far from each other because she still works overseas. But we still talk once in a while. 

Friend, I hope to see you soon again. Nothing changed. You are still the best friend I knew from the start :)

I miss miss miss miss you :* 

Taken on 2010 when she visited Manila and dropped by at my workplace

Forgiveness

I've also done terrible things. Who am I not to forgive?

summer flashback

Work Hard

I have been whining about work for a month now. Everything is exhausting! Everything is tiring! This work is draining my energy and my brain has been working double time because this job is really demanding a lot from me.

I have been thinking of quitting and going back to Pan Pacific. Anyway, my Pan Pacific Family is still very open in welcoming me back. It so happened that I just hit my 1st month here in my new job. I still haven't got my bigtime BIGPAY haha. Next week, I am going to receive my first bigtime BIGPAY, after that, I'll weigh again things if I'm gonna stop busting my a** in this job. You know, I am getting old now and I should not be doing this kind of work. It's really painful, being forced to render service overtime EVERYDAY. Believe me, my tolerance is getting weaker and weaker. I dunno... Just as work has been not so good to me, I received the notice from the house and lot that I bought that I have to pay my first month amortization on April 1. How am I supposed to pay for my expenses when I don't have a job??? Pan Pacific "might" get me back... or not... that one, I still have to try my luck.

In the meantime, I want to apologize to all my loved ones who are getting affected of my behavior in connection with this "crazy" employment I have. I keep on whining about what I do. I am sorry.

But there's nothing I could do about this. As long as I work for them, I don't have any right to complain. Don't worry. If the time comes that I really cannot take it anymore, I'll quit.

I WOULDN'T CARE!

***

I noticed, my post doesn't sound really well. My brain is getting dull haha English. English where are you? Grammar Grammar where are you? :))

Step by Step: Passport Renewal

STRICTLY NO CHAPERONE ALLOWED. That's what really caught my attention while I was reading DFA's online appointment system. I was worried because my mom has to renew her passport but you see, she is a long time resident overseas and barely knows what when where why and how to roam around the Metro. I was thinking that if I don't go with her, she might get lost and someone might take advantage. I was really thinking hard and then I thought of a way to stay with her from step one to exit.

***

Alright, this is the new office of the Department of Foreign Affairs where people applies new and renew old passports. It's somewhere near Mall of Asia. From our place, we took a cab and just cost us P75.00... So far, no fixers yet :) It's around 8am when we arrived.

***

Once you walk to the entry gate, you'd see this big signage: PASSPORT APPLICANTS WITH ONLINE APPOINTMENT ONLY.

***

This is because walk in applicants are not allowed anymore. You have to go online to set an appointment or in our case, I booked through phone. Even if you try to sneak in, I bet you won't be able to enter because even the security guards look so educated on which papers the applicant has to have.

Anyway, since just entering the gate, there's already a guard checking the papers, I already prepared for my "winner alibi".

GUARD: Renew or bagong passport?

ELLAY: Renew po.

MOMMY: Opo, renew po.

G: Sinong applicant?

E: Sya po. (pointing to my mom)

G: Sya lang pwedeng pumasok. Isa lang pwede pumasok.

E: Kelangan ko po sya samahan eh. May sakit sya.

M: (trying to look weak)

G: Ah.. Ano'ng sakit nya?

E: May epilepsy kasi sya. Baka kasi magseizure sa loob, kailangan nya lagi may kasama.

G: O sige po. Pila po kayo dun.

E: (yes! success! hahaha)

M: (Tumingin lang saken)

*but my mom is not epileptic. we were just playing around. sorry guys.*

***

Hahahaha Funny?

So after we passed through that gullible security guard, the guy with the computer checked my mom's papers and found out that one of the forms was incorrect. Not that big a deal, he replaced it with the correct one but my mom's pen didn't write. No more ink. How's that? haha ...anyway, the computer guy let us used his pen. After filling out the form, he stamped our papers and directed us, "Unang pinto, kanan." just the way he told the other applicants who went before us. (same tone, same manner, same same. Unang pinto, kanan. Cool. haha)

***

Again, there's another guard at the "Unang pinto, kanan". This time, a lady. But I think, she's more gullible because when I said that my mom has an epilepsy, she let us in quickly. Like she wanted my mom to sit right away! HAHA Which made my mom giggle while whispering "Anak, ang hirap naman ng sakit ko. Wala bang iba?" Haha.

Just as we enter the building, we see that even there were a lot of people, the que was manageable and in order. It didn't take us so long to finally reach the counter. More or less 30 minutes.

This is Mommy who just sat after she whispered the, "Anak, ang hirap naman ng sakit ko. Wala bang iba?" ....her innocent grin :-/

Mommy again smiling :)

Yah, I know.. us again...

See the people on que? Dont worry. You wont be stucked there for hours :)

You might see that guy on brown. He's the one organizing which line you would take. Although his voice is loud, he didnt sound irritated or bossy. He looked fresh too hehe.

My mom, now one more que before she transacts with the lady in the window. Mom gave her documents to the lady and told her to proceed to 2nd floor for payment.

So, up we go to the payment counter.

Ma, happy huh?

On the 2nd floor, we went inside a big glass window near the escalator. We were looking for a long que and people who's gonna pay but the room was quiet and seats were empty. Stupid me, it's not the right place so went out and walked a little further and saw the sign STEP 2 PAYMENT/CASHIER hehe Paid the passport renewal fee and next to Step 3.

This is where your photo and finger prints will be taken. Jewelries and contact lens are not allowed. You have to take it off. It's okay to put on light make up or just powder up if you want to look fresh on the picture.

You see the walking guy wearing pink? The monitor above him is where you see which numbers are being served. Que is long here and this time, we really waited for quite a long time. Around 40 minutes something.

This is Mommy's number.

A lot of booths were vacant. Not sure why but a lot of booths were working, too, in fairness to them. You see the vacant seat? That's where you're supposed to seat and there's a digital camera pointed at your face.

Not sure if you could see the small little black thing there. That's where you put your finger for biometrics.

I forgot why i took this photo. I dont even remember who's this in red.

The guy there, he's doing nothing except he's printing, cutting and giving out que numbers to the applicants.

You might see him when you go to DFA. Lemme know if he still gives que numbers. I am intrigued. hehe

After the photo and biometrics, you will be asked if you want your passport to be delivered to your home. If yes, you go here. PASSPORT DELIVERY SYSTEM. You could see it right away. You just fill up the form (name address blah blah blah) and pay additional 120.

Then you go down the exit stairs.

****

Overall, the application system is very organized and is not fuzzy at all. Hats off to the staff and the people behind this very disciplined set up :)