My 20th Church Anniversary

Because of God's help and mercy, I am celebrating my 20th year in the Church. In modern times, the symbol of 20th anniversary is platinum. It symbolizes true love, purity, rarity and strength. I may not be as precious as platinum but my heart is happy that I can still hear Him say I am made for Him.

I am not unmeltable, I am not resistant to tarnishing and I do not even represent high status in the society like platinum does but God sees me more than that. 

Although until now, I don't see myself worthy of His love, everyday I feel that He values me like someone really important... how He looks out for me in those little ways and much more in those times that seemed impossible to go through. All these years, His love gives me life... gives peace... hope. 

I am way too far from them all and I don't think I will ever come near in terms of being perfect but I intend to try again and again as long as He is still giving me a chance to be better despite of failing every now and then. I can't brag my love to Him but I can brag God's and Jesus' love for me because it never fails. 

And in my 20 years in God's Church, I have a strong faith that He wouldn't have allowed the trials and hurdles unless it had  purpose and that I had to grow through them. I am thankful for everything. I am thankful for the two decades. 

I will always run to You when it hurts. I know You will always be there.

THANKS BE TO GOD FOR ALL. FROM DAY 1 TO YEAR 20. Whatever tomorrow will bring, I know that He will never make me feel unloved. Looking forward to count more years, God willing. 

Sharing my first photos as a Member of Church of God International way back November 30, 2001. 

Happy birthday, Wawa

 

Happy birthday to my sweetest Wawa. 

Your thoughtfulness and smartness always amaze me. You are a gift from God and I will be forever thankful.

Happy  7th! 🥳

Happy birthday, Mommy!

 To my superwoman,

The way you love us is something I couldn’t trade for the world. I realized not everyone is given to stay close and attached to their parents especially when they’re far away. With you, you made us feel like you’re just on the next block, or just around the corner. Your love for us never fails to reach us that’s why despite the distance, we still managed to be this close as if the distance is just a number and it didn’t matter enough. As your only daughter, you have no idea how much it means to me how you managed to keep in touch, how you find ways to make us feel that you remember us. I know you’re pressed between so many workloads and busy schedules, but then again, giving us your time will always be your priority. If you feel like you wanted to rest or recharge, that would directly mean you wanted to talk to us. You made us your motivation to survive another day and ready to face tomorrow’s challenges.

You’re so generous that despite having our own families, you still flood us with questions on how you could help. We acknowledge the way you wanted to show how much you care and you had given enough. Still, you never limit and you always give what you are capable of giving.

For now, aside from wishing a very happy birthday, I also wish you to regain your strength and always be healthy with God's help. You're not getting any younger and I know it’s all new to you to have limited gestures and restrictions when it comes to the heavy chores you were so used to doing. And now, as we continue our everyday lives, I want this letter to give you the courage to combat what’s holding your health back. I know you are made of a brave heart and you are able to make it through. I know we still have more years to share and we will go on vacations, visit places we’ve never been to.

I still look forward to watching you grow old and you have your grandchildren surround you waiting for you to read them stories or your experiences. It excites me to think about that and that’s why you need to make sure you get to endure all things needed for you to always be in good shape. I want to spend more years with you and I still need your advice and your motherly guidance. I still look forward to knowing more from you, and that I needed you more than I needed anyone else.

Stay strong, Mommy. I know you are always bigger than all those trials . Never get tired of fighting and never give up on God. Cling to prayers. Cling to your hopes. I know we could make it. I am confident that you could make it, Mommy. 

Happy 63rd birthday! We love you so much! Thanks be to God!

 

 

 

To the most courageous woman I know,

First, I wanted to write this letter because I know words have their healing power. It could cure loneliness and your longing to be home. Somehow, I want to write this letter because I wanted you to have something to read when you feel like you missed us being around and if you wanted to just fill your hearts with a lighter dose of how we love you. But honestly, I know words will never be enough to express how much I appreciate you. It runs short when it comes to how grateful we are to have you as our mother. Indeed, I feel God’s love and caring because He gave us a mother who has always been generous and selfless. You gave me unconditional love that also taught me the right ways on how to become a mother myself. You inspired me in so many ways, how you never limit yourself when it’s us who are included in the equation.

Ever since I was a kid, your love for us comes immeasurable and in everything you do, you take us as your inspiration to surpass another tough day. You think about our welfare and future and made sure we are able to get what you think we deserve. You never wanted to go on a day thinking we’re not having enough. You always give too much without asking anything in return. You wanted us to have a convenient life, the kind of life that is both comfortable but also giving us enough space to grow and work things at our pace. A life that’s full of comfort but also taught us how to appreciate every crumb of blessing. You are strong enough for choosing to sacrifice staying here with us and watch us grow personally because you know we need financial support. You embraced the consequences of knowing you won’t be here on some of the best occasions of our lives yet you made sure that we are happy, full, and blessed enough. It’s because of your hard work and your sacrifice.

I know life there was never easy. And that after all, you dealt with different kinds of struggles you refused to share with us because you don’t want us to carry some of your burdens. But we know so well how much you wanted to stay your years here with us, be part of our everyday routine and see your grandchildren grow. Still, we make sure they remember you and know every detail of how wonderful you are as a mother to us. They might not fully grasp what we truly mean but they listen and from there, we are assured that we have carved a special place for you in our children’s hearts.

We love you so much. Please remember how much I love you to the point that it will also shove away your loneliness.  Love you, Ma.

Dear Ayeko,

Today’s your birthday and yet, every single day we receive daily gifts through your presence. The day I gave birth to you was one of the happiest days of my life, for you had opened so many doors for me to see, feel, learn and explore. For now, all I have are words that will preserve this certain memory to remind you about this certain phase of yourself. A part of your sweet innocence and natural humor, your tender appreciation for a small matter, the way you see the world through your virtue. I want you to soon look back into this day when you’re able to understand how the real world works. I want my words to remind you about love and life and about how much you mean to us.

Somehow, every time I look at you, I can’t help but see myself in you. The resemblances hold so much about our similarities, indeed you’re the small version of me. Your laughter has always been contagious that it ended up making everyone fall into your softness. The way you make people laugh so hard as well because of your natural humor and the way you insist on yourself when you needed or wanted something is all gathered to remind me that you hold so much of me in you. The way you planted positivity in all corners of our home gave us new tomorrows to get excitedly tackle with. I remember myself in your eyes, the way you smile, and the way you find ways to meet your wants. Somehow, they all brought me closer to the satisfaction of being a mother, that I found my soul purpose in this world. I remember how I gave birth to you that exact mother’s day, my first mother's day, how at that exact moment, I knew I wanted to be the best one.

You are indeed the best prologue that we had always been thankful for writing, the way we realized how the combination of me and your father’s name suited you so well. You are our kind, our granted wish. You’re the answered prayer, the happy pill, the best part of the day. Always the blessing that we are grateful for having.

And I promise that as you grow up, God willing, me, Tatay and Wawa will stay by your side. We will never restrict you from pursuing your dreams. We will remind you that it’s okay to feel weak sometimes, that there are bad days you are allowed to cry. That you could be weak and unproductive on some nights. That it’s okay to be imperfect. We will not sugarcoat the reality of life for we know you both needed bad and good days to learn, that we believe in you and you could always make it. I want you to know that who you choose to be will be accepted, including your dreams, and your chosen passion.

But for now, I want you to enjoy your age, your petty needs, and how uncomplicated life is. I want you to enjoy every stage of your life. I want you to capture every process of your nurturing, how your radiance brought our family closer to each other and closer to God. Happiest birthday, my Hariell Dan Apollos 3MP. Let’s make the best of everything. We are always here for you, in every step of the way. You always have us to give you the best love that you deserve.

Love forever, Nanay, Tatay and Zeo 

On Your 8th

To our Awesome HARIELL







Happiness found me the very first day I set eyes on you.
From that moment, becoming a mother felt blessedly brand new.
You’re too fragile to hold at that time yet you took away all of our blues.
You brought colors into our lives, and all of our wishes come true.
 

As you slowly grow up, I had seen the best parts of me.
The part of me that has unspoken courage as I should be
A part of me that became so hardworking and felt so carefree.
A part of me gets excited to share another morning where all of us could see.
 
Reminiscing all the passing years since you brought colors to our home.
We are enthralled to watch all of your learning steps and how you’ve grown.
And as your parents, we want to make sure we provide you the best safe zones.
And in every journey you take, you’ll be reminded that you don’t face struggles all alone.
 
It still felt like yesterday, how you were once a baby I cradle on my arms.
Now you turned eight and all you brought to us were your kindness and charm.
On our troubled days, you became the light and calm.
We are thankful to have you and with us, you’ll stay safe and unharmed.
 
Everything that you do, made us truly happy.
The way you make people laugh and merry
All the jokes and wit at your age made us all eager and ready.
You brought sunshine in this home where love and joy remained steady.
 
Love will never run insufficient and you’ll grow up free for it to express.
We will watch every ladder you climb, each failure, and progress.
We will be here to cheer the loudest for the anticipated success.
When it comes to love, we will make sure you’ll never get less.
 

Let’s take every year slow, and we will stand guard over your dreams.
We will have the heart to listen and help you build your self-esteem.
We will remain as someone whom you could trust and will give you what you need.
We love you our little sunshine, you and Zeo are the best gifts that we ever received.

Dear Kingkong

 

 You came back into my life during the time when I had given up on love but then, love’s too wondrous and too unpredictable —it arrived in such a moment that would eventually change everything about me forever. You have no idea how thankful I am for that very moment, that I got the chance to be loved again by you. I am truly blessed knowing that not everyone gets the ideal relationship that sticks with them through thick and thin, and here you are, constantly reminding me that you’ll be the loudest cheer during my best days and also the one who stays longer to comfort me during my worst times. You show me love and support that’s real and it’s because of that I am able to relish my courage and forget about my doubts. 

All my prayers were answered for it felt like my topsy-turvy world finally found the right place to settle down and just enjoy how love will bring into order all of my messy perceptions about life. I feel so complete knowing I am loved by you. You reminded me about my purpose and you never made me question my own worth. You give me more than what I ask for because making us happy, turns out to be your own happiness too.

I know we aren’t perfect. You have your issues. I have my issues. You have your storms. I have my rains. Sometimes, we feel like all our pieces fit perfectly together. Sometimes, we sound like contrasting shapes. We have some misunderstandings, just like everyone else. Some happens consecutively and sometimes, we feel like we could go for months not bringing any nonsensical issues at the top of the table. We both grow mature together to the point that I learn so much about myself by the way you love and take care of me.  

I love you so much and I know I am not really the one who initiates affection because both of us have learned to face life’s reality and busy schedules. But I know you love me the same for you unravel the things that would lit up a fight. You  inspire me to be better despite knowing we both have off-moments but that’s completely understandable because both of us are working together to make sure our kids have secured future. I always find myself smiling at how I found someone who has the same goals as me, someone who works on what he promises.  

And we still have more roller coaster ventures that we will take together and I am more than willing to wait to unfold each memory-waiting-to-happen with you. I hope every day, life and love will continuously draw us closer to each other. I hope we’ll find an opportunity through it to strengthen our relationship. We’ve seen the darkest nights and witnessed the best sunrises. And it’s all worth being with you. 

Masamang Panaginip

Time check: 0742H

Ang aga aga. Tulog pa talaga ako ng mga ganitong oras. Kaso nagising ako, ramdam ko pa yung bigat sa dibdib. Nanalangin muna ako bago ako umupo... Gising na din si Kingkong, nanunuod ng movie...

Tinawag ko sya tapos niyakap. Sabi nya nanaginip ka na naman? ...Nung mga nakaraang araw kasi napapanaginipan ko yung mga ex ko. Natatawa sya pag nagkukwento ako. Kaso iba tong napanaginipan ko. Dahil nung tinanong nya, ano daw napanaginipan ko? Minuestra ko sa kamay ko na wala ka na daw.

Umiyak ako. Ang bigat sa loob. Naaalala ko halos lahat. Sobrang lungkot. Ang lungkot lungkot ko.

Pano daw sya namatay? ....Di ko matandaan eh pero nung nalaman ko daw, sinarili ko muna. Wala pa akong pinagsasabihan. Pero paikot ikot lang ako, di ko alam ang gagawin. Andun sila Hariell at Zeo, pinipilit ko daw maging maayos. May tao din na nagcocomputer, di ko masyado matandaan. Paikot ikot lang ako. Tapos, may nakita daw ako sa social media na nagpost tungkol ke king na parang you are a great loss ganyan ganyan... So naisip ko na may nakakaalam na? ...tumawag daw ako kay Tito Ojie pero si ate jane ang sumagot. "Ate Jane....." "Ano neng? Malubha ba sila DV?" ...."Di ko po alam yung kay Sir Dex pero si King....." — "Wag mo na sabihin......" 

May dumating daw sa babang kwarto. Iniisip ko daw na sana si King yun. Sana di sya nawala. Kaso ang dumating daw para samahan ako ay sina Tita Lyn, tapos may isa pa (si Tito Ode ata yun), tapos si Tito Ojie. Dumating sila para samahan at tulungan ako. Di ko talaga alam anong gagawin ko sa panaginip ko. Sobrang lungkot at lutang.

May parang music video pa daw na bagong gawa nun si king saken kaso di na pala sya makakauwi. 

Habang kinukwento ko ke kingkong yung panaginip ko, nakikinig syang mabuti. Lungkot talaga ako. Ang bigat sa dibdib. 

Tapos sabi nya yung pinapanuod nya din daw na movie ngayon, papatayin daw yung asawa.

Di ko alam sa panaginip ko kung magkasama kaya sila king at DV nun? Di ko alam. basta sana wag muna. Ang hirap nun. Haaaaayyyyy...... :(

To the Years of Constant Blessings

 

To the years of constant blessings,

Thanking God for another
 year in my life

Today is extra special since today is her birthday. It’s another day to unfold the past years where she was able to emerge from life’s greatest call of challenges. Her life for thirty-nine years was never a smooth-sailing ride but throughout her journey, she saw both her strengths and weaknesses. She witnessed the things she’s able to surpass and unleash new-found courage in her. She knew she’s not like anyone else for she’s able to still find lessons behind bad days.

She considers herself lucky enough to be surrounded by genuine people who never left her when the sun shows up. Her husband is her good sight example of a hardworking parent. She admires how his husband is willing to do anything just to support the family. He works diligently and decently as a researcher, book writer, online buy and sell, business consultant and anything else he could think of that requires his wit and talent. She also wakes up every morning knowing how blessed she is for having their two sons —their motivation and one of the reasons why they wanted to be better people. Her sons who calls her “Nanay” are all well-loved and everything they need is always met and provided. She always looks forward to giving their sons the comfort of home and that they are free to grow and discover themselves.

She too is a hardworking woman who wanted to take every opportunity that is served on her table. She does their daily online schooling, serves them the best food, she does house cleaning, laundry, and anything to make their home a better place. Most of the time, everything leads to exhaustion but she knows it’s all worth it. She is still eager to do the same routine every day if that would mean, giving her family the light feeling of safety and love. She made sure that her kids are raised with good manners and impart them Christian values. Somehow she knew that being a mother is her calling for she’s raising kids for the Kingdom of Heaven. She makes sure that her kids know what’s right and what’s wrong, that they can sympathize, feel things freely, explore their growth, treat people with kindness and humility using the guidance and fear of God.

Thankful to God

For her, they are her definition of receiving the best gift of life —her all-out fun, and loving family. Just by looking at them, she knew it’s all worth the fight and exhaustion. She knew that her heart is so full of love that she’ll never run out of it when it comes to her family. They are her definition of immeasurable happiness that no amount of luxury in this world could ever trade for. Her birthday wish will always fall towards her family’s sake. That they will continue to grow in harmony and have God in the center of everything that they do. She knew that there are more challenges in the future but she knew they could make it together as long as they’ll remain as a team. Every day she received her gift through her family and she’s always thankful for that.

There’s no such thing as perfect life for the perfect life is boring. What she had is a life filled with newly discovered riches through experiences, memories of watching how they grow at the same pace, and hearing the noise inside a home that represents unconditional love. More so, she’s thankful for another year because it all means she’s here for a reason and a purpose. 

Friday Flashback

Language of love — Kahit walang salita, kahit walang sabihin... hindi kailangan ng letra. I Cor 13:13 I miss you, Bro Eli.