Cant explain sad

This sadness has been coming and going for quite a time now.

Cant explain. 

I have just been constantly sending my mom "i love you, ma. i miss you." like a helpless little girl running to her mom when something hurts. And she will always say "gambare. fight! fight!" 

I dont have to say anything else. She understands how I feel even if she doesnt know what is happening. 

I thank God for you, Mommy. I dont know what I will do without you. 

And today, my heart is crying silently. But I dont want to bother people from my hurting.

I am just sad.